ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize