dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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