Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
