At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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