Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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