When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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