Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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