i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
