she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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