Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
