I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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