I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
