so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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