there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how drunk are you?
Several
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
