Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
