Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
