considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
