You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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