Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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