I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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