Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
