butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
