We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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