I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
