I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
