i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
