Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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