my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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