I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
