How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
