Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
