We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada†on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
