There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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