I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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