I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
