...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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