Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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