i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
