dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
