I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
