There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
