the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
