he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
