I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
