Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
