The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize