I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
