They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
