You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
