it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
