I wish I only lived at night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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