Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
