who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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