i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
