Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
