I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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