No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
