There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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