That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
