Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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