Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
