I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize