the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize