dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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